This past weekend, I was blessed to be in Mexico City having lunch with Monica Diaz (@monedays) and her husband Rubén. During the meal, Rubén expressed his belief that a human being has many facets and that it is important to live and express all of them to be a complete human being.
What I understood him to mean is that a certain person may have drives to do many things, such as art, have a family, make an impact in the world, serve as a leader or mentor, etc, and that it is essential to give expression to all of these.
Rubén said that if the person doesn’t do so, the energy of the un-lived drives is held inside and the person feels unfulfilled and doesn’t know why.
This got me thinking. The next day, I led a retreat on “Flying with Two Wings”. Introducing the subject, I recounted what Rubén had said, that we are “human beings”, and need to fully express our human part, the doing part of ourselves, and give expression to our drives. If we don’t do so, we are not satisfied.
Continuing, I said that “in addition to human, we are also being, and it is essential to also fully experience our being." Being is the hidden treasure within us, and most of the time we don’t even know it is there. Yet it is the substratum of life, and the source of all happiness, love and meaning in our lives. So in addition to doing, it is also essential to fully experience and integrate being into our lives.
The remainder of the day involved sharing various ways a person can easily and directly experience their being. It was a wonderful day. The participants were enthusiastic about the methods shared, and love was palpable in the room.
This was especially good because selfless love, that raises a person up, melts boundaries, and doesn’t demand a reward, reduces egoism and is one of the ways toward the experience of being.
Then, on the flight back to L.A., I had a chance to read Monica’s book, OTHERESTEEM: Regaining the Power to Value Others. Written with great authenticity in Monica’s conversational style, this wonderful book tells the value of esteeming others, and lays out a practice to do so.
I loved the book, and realized that it is based on Monica’s personal knowledge: She practices otheresteem: As her guest in Mexico, I felt so loved and appreciated, so esteemed.
Practicing otheresteem, which is applied love, not only has effects in the world, in terms of creating loving community, it also enables one to cut through the layers of ego and fear that keep us from experiencing being. I highly recommend the book as a way toward the experience of being.